Tales of the LNWR: The Magic Railroad (2022)/Transcript/1

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1.Sodor Airfield
(STH is talking with some man near the airfield)

MAN: Please, Topham. I can assure you that these British Railways Class diesel engines will bring more visiters to your railway.

STH: Well, if they do, then I can buy them, and the partnership is rebooted. If they don't, then the partnership will be disbanded. Deal?

MAN: Deal! Oh, thank you Topham. Have a good holiday.

STH: Thank you bloody, I will. (walks into HAROLD) To the beaches of England, Harold!

HAROLD: (starts his propellar) Right you are, Sir! (leaves the airfield)

MAN: (speaks to the diesels) Remember the plan, you three. Find the lost engine and destroy her.

DIESEL 10: Right you are, sir!

SPLATTER: Yes, master. We will...eventually.

DODGE: What the hell does that mean?

SPLATTER: I have no idea.

DODGE: Well, it's a good word.

DIESEL 10: (yells) Oh shut up, Splodge and hurry up! (oils away)

SPLATTER & DODGE: (follows DIESEL 10) Yes, boss.

2.Black screen
(MAIN TITLE plays during opening credits, then 'TALES OF THE LNWR: THE MAGIC RAILROAD' title appears and disappears)

ADULT LILY (NARRATOR): Hello, I am Stone, Lily Stone. Some people like to believe in magic. Some don't. But I do. Today, I am going to tell you a story about how one railroad in the USA, and a magical island meet ends in the Magic Railroad, which brought us today.

3.Henry's Tunnel
(THOMAS puffs out of the tunnel)

NARRATOR: Every story, like this one, has its heroes. Meet Thomas, my best friend and one of the heroes in this story.

THOMAS: (whistles) Hello, Trevor!

TREVOR: Hello, Thomas!

NARRATOR: But, he's running a bit late.

4.Knapford
(HENRY passes TOBY; PERCY passes GEORGE; THOMAS passes sleeping GORDON)

NARRATOR: This is the Island of Sodor, where Thomas and his friends live. It's a one end of special universe as Mr Conductor likes to call it.

HENRY: Hello, Toby.

TOBY: Hello, Henry.

GEORGE: Hello, Percy.

PERCY: Hello, George.

THOMAS: Hello, wake up lazybones! (laughs)

GORDON: Oh the indignity.

5.Elsbridge
(JAMES stops at the station; DUCK leaves the station)

6.Crovan's Gate
(SKARLOEY smiles at DONALD as DOUGLAS passes by)

7.Vicarstown
(FLYING SCOTSMAN randomly talks with PETER as OLIVER passes by with the goods train and TOAD)

8.Skarloey Railway Countryside
(SIR HANDEL passes some mountain climbers)

9.Bulgy's Bridge
(STEPNEY crosses the bridge as Bulgy lays sad on the grass)

10.Runby Bridge
(THOMAS and EDWARD pass eachother on the bridge itself and DAISY and BOCO pass eachother in the tunnel)

NARRATOR: Everything runs swell here...under the control of the Topham Hatt family since 1914, of course.

11.Knapford
(GORDON waits at platform 1 for THOMAS and his coaches as BILL & BEN pass by)

GORDON: Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen-

BILL: (stops) Hello, Gordon. What are you counting?

GORDON: For my express. Thomas is late.

BEN: Oh, it's always about the express. Why can't you shunt them yourself? (puffs away)

GORDON: (furious) What cheek! Anyway, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one-

THOMAS: (comes in with the express) Twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five! So you do know your maths after all! That's a really good engine. I thought four-numbered engines couldn't count, since you are four! (laughs)

GORDON: What about you, little Thomas?

THOMAS: (crossly) Oh, shut up. What were you counting for, anyway?

GORDON: (importantly) I was counting how many seconds late you were, little Thomas. And twenty-five seconds late! Oh how much later can you get.

THOMAS: Even more if you wish.

GORDON: After all, what does that sign say?

THOMAS: (reads sign) Hm, "North Western Railway: Really useful and reliable, and right on time."

GORDON: And YOU were not on time little Thomas.

THOMAS: And you're being bossy, Gordon. Also, you are too fat, you need excersise.

GORDON: (furious) I'll have you know that I have plenty of excersise!

THOMAS: How come you're still fat?

GORDON: (groans) You are indeed cheeky. (proudly) I was built to be fat!

THOMAS: (looks back at the sign) It also states, "Sorry for any confusion and delay, we are making repairs and revonations to make this a better railway. Signed, Controller of the Railway, Sir Stephen Topham Hatt III". There.

GORDON: It's the Fat Controller, little Thomas.

THOMAS: Yes, but it doesn't say that on this sign. Now, bossy Gordon, if you please excuse me, I better get Mr. Conductor III. He's taking care of us while Sir Topham Hatt takes a week's holiday at the British seasides.

GORDON: (looks to the left, then looks at Thomas; whispers) Thomas, do you remember our alliance?

THOMAS: Yes, why?

GORDON: Well, I think with this alliance, we can take care of ourselves. After all, what could really happen in one week?

DIESEL 10: (zooms past THOMAS and GORDON; yells) Get outta my way!! I have got some unfinished business here and I wanna finish it fast! (cackles, disappears)

GORDON: (shakes) Who on fizzling fireboxes is that?

THOMAS: That is trouble. That arrived today and is a problem. I call him Diesel 10, He was 10 out of 10 for being a bully with devious deeds and brutal strength from where the factory built him. Sir Topham Hatt bought him and two other diesels from a businessman and sent them here to help us steam engines but Diesel 10's behaving as though he hates us. We'll all have to be very careful.

GORDON: You're right, little Thomas. Maybe we do need Mr. Conductor here after all. On time.

(GUARD's whistle blows)

GORDON'S DRIVER: I believe that was the guard.

GORDON'S FIREMAN: Come on, Gordon. Your boiler's stoked up and you're ready to go.

GORDON: Alright. Goodbye, little Thomas. (chuffs away)

THOMAS: Bye, Gordon. (talks to himself) Now I better find Mr. Conductor. (chuffs away)

12.USA river
(camera moves over USA river)

NARRATOR: Mr. Alec Conductor, well, he's the little man with the sparkle and he knows Thomas well. He lives at the other end of his own universe. You can see the land from far away across oceans of time, in which oceans don't literally go time traveling anyway.

13.Muffle Mountain (and a glimpse of Shining Time, USA)
(camera moves over Muffle Mountain)

NARRATOR: You can always see it up and over Muffle Mountain, and hidden deep in the valley... is his hometown... Shining Time.

14.Shining Time, USA
(PASSENGERS are walking around)

15.The Big Dipper
(THOMAS puffs over the bridge)

NARRATOR: Now let's go back to Sodor where Thomas is.

THOMAS: If Diesel 10 has some unfinished business, then we all better be careful.

THOMAS'S DRIVER: Yes, indeed, Thomas.

DIESEL: (passes THOMAS) Stinky steamy.

16.Tidmouth
(EDWARD, HENRY, GORDON, JAMES, PERCY, TOBY and GEORGE are talking as DUCK and his coaches pass by)

HENRY: Have you seen the new diesels?

GORDON: Well, I saw one of them this afternoon. Thomas did too.

EDWARD: I propose we better be careful with him around. Diesels like a Warship are nothing but trouble.

GEORGE: I agree. We must be careful.

GORDON: YOU be careful, little George. We mainline engines will handle this visitor.

PERCY: I am really worried, though. What if he destroys us?

GEORGE: That's unlikely, Percy. He doesn't have any features or anything.

TOBY: Well, I propose we better get back to work. That's what Mr Conductor would want when he comes.

EDWARD: Aren't you coming, James?

JAMES: I am punished, remember?

EDWARD: Oh yeah, well. Let's get to work.

(EDWARD, HENRY, GORDON, PERCY, TOBY and GEORGE get to work, leaving JAMES alone)

JAMES'S DRIVER: (walks with a packet of sandwich) Hello, James. Just came to keep you company.

JAMES: What sandwich have you got?

JAMES'S DRIVER: (opens the packet) Canned tuna-good grief! There's a fly on my sandwich! Buzz off!

(the fly buzzes off the sandwich and starts to annoy JAMES)

JAMES: Oh, for goodness sakes! Buzz off!

JAMES'S DRIVER: Don't worry, James. At least it's not a bee like the incident your former driver told me.

JAMES: Don't even talk about it! (to the fly) BUZZ OFF! Shoo, fly! That's it! Buzz off! You're annoying me! Stop! You're making me giddy!

(THOMAS puffs backwards with some trucks)

JAMES: I say, buzz off, you giddy fly. (to THOMAS) Stop, Thomas!

THOMAS: (crashes into the buffers) Bust my buffers!

TRUCKS: Ow! That smarts!

JAMES: (groans) Watch what you're doing. Lucky for you that the buffers were there.

THOMAS: Well, that's what buffers are for, James; to stop engines from crashing. (looks inside the empty berths) Where are the others?

JAMES: Gone to do their afternoon work.

THOMAS: Why aren't you with them?

JAMES: I'm feeling a little blue, which isn't hot when you are red. Sir Topham Hatt told me to pull scrap trucks to the scrapyard. I told him "why does a splendid engine like me have to pull scrap trucks instead of coaches? Percy or Oliver should do it; they are not as important as I am". He didn't agree with me and shut me in the shed to think of all the ways I can be really useful. He said two days should do it. It's been a day now. Tomorrow I will be allowed to leave the sheds to work.

THOMAS: Don't worry, James. He's just trying to make this railway a better one for steam engines. (DIESEL 10 oils behind)

JAMES: Horrors!

THOMAS: The harder we work, the less we need steam engines to help.

DIESEL 10: (stops) Help YOU? (cackles)

(THOMAS and JAMES gasp; JAMES'S DRIVER drops his sandwich in horror)

DIESEL 10: You ALWAYS need help, because steam engines are nothing but cowardly, cranky, worn-out hunks of scrap, who can't hurt a bee!

JAMES: No we're not.

DIESEL 10: Yes you are.

JAMES: Not!

DIESEL 10: Are! Because I remember someone who was stung by a bee in the nose.

JAMES: Oh shut up.

DIESEL 10: Now I have come here to find the lost steam engine, and I am going to destroy her, and dominate you! And then you will be nothing but useless SCRAP! (cackles; oils away)

JAMES: Stuff and nonesense! Bully!

THOMAS: We are not scrap! We're really useful engines. (puffs away) You won't dominate us, and you won't destroy her either! We won't let you, and neither will Mr. Conductor. I am off to fetch him now.

JAMES: What was that?

JAMES'S DRIVER: (picks up his sandwich) My sandwich!

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